You have never been funny in your life. Ever. Not on purpose. They’re not laughing with you. People might get on with you better if you didn’t try so hard to be liked. Stop it. Oh, and don’t do that weird dance, either.
There’s a difference between working hard and being a bit of a weirdo. Don’t be a weirdo. Try and find the right balance between these elements of your work and you won’t find your stapler in jelly anytime soon.
You are a person. Of. Few. Words. And when you do have words, you take far too long to say them. You might be friendly, but it’s difficult to tell, because, like we said, you barely speak. You do know a good Scotch egg when you see one, though.
It’s not possible to dislike you. You’re friendly, helpful and funny to everyone. Except Gareth. But we’ve told people not to be Gareths.
Have a long, loud, very serious word with yourself. What are you doing? You think because you’re tall, you’re better than everyone else? Wrong. You might actually be the worst. No-one cares how far you can throw a kettle. Sort it out. If you get this result, you’ve failed the quiz. The real quiz.
Dawn Tinsley: Receptionist. But you might not be a receptionist. What you are is a very kind person who is extremely good at pretending to laugh at your boss’ unfunny jokes, which is a skill that can be very important in the workplace. Never lose that skill. Dump your boyfriend as well, by the way.
You are friendly, charming and know how to get the best out of your colleagues. You have the perfect mix of friendliness and authority, and everyone responds well to it, apart from David. You spent too much money on that awful leather jacket though. Just because it’s more expensive than David’s doesn’t mean you don’t look stupid as well.
The big boss. The one that everybody respects, and certain people are slightly intimidated by (we’re looking at you, Davids). You are very driven and motivated, and you have little time for the antics of people who don’t take the job as seriously as you (again, Davids). We’re not trying to offend you here (we are), but you might be a bit boring. And a nerd. Boring nerd.
You make up for your good looks with what can only be described as an absence of character. You could be invisible. It is extremely clear that you hate your job.
Not really sure what to say. Good employee. Better drinker. If you could get paid to get absolutely hammered, you’d be onto a winner. But you’re not getting paid to do that, so put the bottle down.
You are a lovely person, and fun to boot. Not quite as fun as your love rival in the office, though. Take them out at all costs. Otherwise you’re going to lose and everybody’s going to see you cry, and you’ll be left with Gareth.